Douchebag: Bro, I bet I am the fastest chugger in this place.
Caleb (drunk): Bro, no way. Back in college I use to chug x amount of beer in x amount of time.
DB: Bro, then let's see who chugs faster
Caleb: 50 bucks and you're on.
So standard banter amongst idiot frat boys and well....morons. The whole time i'm thinking:
That's fucking stupid why the the fuck does it matter? Mr. douche canoe thinks he is badass because he can out chug anyone here and my friend wants to challenge him because he thinks its manly? What is so goddam manly about 'opening your throat and allowing liquid to pour quickly down it?
Anyway I did not stay and watch the two fat bodies (yes they were both fat and thought they were the shit) chug. I was pissed and Salt and Peppa's Push It was playing so I had to fuckin' spaz out and dance.
But it got me thinking...what does society think is manly? Why do so many think that such childish and petty acts make them manly? why are they arrogant? Simple answer: our standards as a society have dropped. Things like beer chugging makes men think that they are badass because they can perform such a simple feet quickly. This is a sickness. A syndrome.
How do we fix this shit? well sadly we cannot. The only thing we can do is personally vow to never do any of this shit. A little self hate and humility goes a long way on this one. Get pissed at yourself for thinking that you are a badass. Even if you really are a badass. Stop it. Stop it now.
I read that the average man can bench his own body weight. Pathetic, considering the average man is a skinny fat weakling who looks like he has never touched a weight before. I use to think that Well im not super strong, but I'm stronger than the average bro. Bullshit. Total fucking bullshit. Just like half squats. and 21's for guns.
Anywhere on the internet you find badasses patrolling the forums, subreddits and blogs spreading their false sense of badassery. "look at me jump off this cliff into this water...I'm such a badass" or "look at me chugging this beer in .456 seconds" or "look at me shoot this big gun once". All total bullshit. You are not a badass. I am not a badass. The true badasses don't really know they are badass because everyday they are working their asses off to get better. To be content is to die the slow painful death of the syndrome. Nobody ever reaches their full potential because the truth is it is infinite. The pursuit of badassery is never ending.
Surprisingly my mom opened up my eyes to this. I was deadlifting in my garage and going for a PR. I hit my PR of 425 pounds and excited I run in and tell her "no big deal I just did 425". Her immediate response was "why not 450?"....I love you mom. Well, why not 450? I fucking suck and I'm weak. Time to work for 450.
There is always someone out there who is bigger/better/faster/stronger/sexier than you. Think you are strong? just watch World's strongest man and be humbled. Think you are fast? Watch Usain Bolt. Think you are smart? Read about Einstein. Humble and hate yourself. Everyday I ask myself what I did to make my self better. If my answer is nothing I fucking hate myself and wake up pissed off and the next day I get shit done. I temporarily bask in my accomplishments and then hate myself for not doing more and work to achieve my next goal.
With that being said, don't take shit from weak and stupid assholes who challenge your manliness. Call that shit out. If some bro thinks he is badass because he can drink 20 beers and not get drunk then call him a bitch and point it out to him. Ask him how much he squats or deads. You owe him that much.
I often ask men who don't lift 'Why don't you want to be strong?' and people think I'm an asshole for it. I mean, who wouldn't want to be able to move heavy shit with ease and be in shape? Truth is they are content being weak assholes and doing shitty and petty things to prove their manhood. Chugging beer is easy. Deadlifting is not.
More badass than you. And looks better in a singlet. Probably smarter. Shit.
Amateurs train until they get it right. Professionals train until they get it wrong.
